10 Things Not to Buy Off the Internet

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10 Things Not to Buy Off the Internet

By Sarah Belle – the voice of experience.

10. Perfume – unless you know the seller is reputable and you are buying a perfume that you have previously worn and know won’t smell like cat urine on you.

perfume1

9. Diet Pills – yeah, ‘cos who knows what’s really in them?

8. Twitter Followers – what are the chances they are truly interested in your twitterings? Remember people, it’s quality, not quantity!

twitterfollowers

7. Paint – that particular shade of ‘Smouldering Sexy Boudoir deluxe’ that looks so great on your laptop screen, actually looks more like something from Romper Room in the flesh. Don’t do it.

6. Uranium – just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You don’t want the government to go all gang-busters on your uraniumised butt.

Uranium

5. A Private Island – why wouldn’t you pay a paltry US $50 million for a little piece of rock floating off the Panama coast? Because chances are, it doesn’t exist, is currently inhabited by a fugitive Cuban drug lord, or will require extensive flood insurance.

Island

4. Shoes – unless you know the exact size. It’s hard enough to get a standard shoe size in retail, let alone on line.

3. Jewellery – if you only pay $25 for a 18ct gold necklace, then chances are it ain’t 18 ct! Good luck getting a refund out of these etailers.

2. A spouse – because someone who is meant to look like this:

spouse1

Or this:

spouse2

Will actually look more like this:

spouse3

1.  A love spell – or any kind of spell for that matter. Unless you are a seasoned spell casting genius, or go by the name of Hermione Granger, it’s better for us novices to lay off the internet magic.


22035Magic realism mixes with romantic comedy in this new novel from Sarah Belle about the dangers of internet shopping – and using magic to solve real world problems.

Lou’s life is perfect. She loves her job, her renovated house, and most of all, her gorgeous fiancé, Aidan. But when her old flame and Aidan’s school yard nemesis turn out to be the same person, Hunter Wincott, Lou’s life is blown apart. She must divulge her secret past, or have Hunter give it away. Either way, she runs the real risk of losing Aidan.

In desperation, she turns to Google. A quick search turns up Majique, the Internet Witch, and a spell that will delete herself from Hunter’s memory. But something goes wrong in the casting process, and Lou deletes much more than just a memory. She deletes herself from her life completely.

Luckily, there’s a one-week window for Lou to get back to the life she loved. One week to win back Aidan, before he walks down the aisle with the wrong woman, and damns everyone to a lifetime of misery. It would be easy, if only Aidan had any idea who Lou actually is.

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