We all love a good (bad) holiday movie—and I am a connoisseur. I have seen all (okay, most) of them, from The Spirit of Christmas to The Holiday (both of them). But where does Hot Frosty, the 2024 holiday movie available now on Netflix, hang on this esteemed holiday tree? Well, I’m not sure, but I’ll let my live reactions tell you.

• The hat getting run over is … ominous.
• Of course the town is named Hope Springs, probably in the county of Love, in the state of Holiday.
• Why does the main actress look familiar?
• Ah, she lives in a house in disrepair, without a heater (convenient for … future frosty things?) and totters her way through the house in a huddled comforter. That’s just my normal Saturday.
• OH NO, THAT MARRIAGE PHOTO IS SO PHOTOSHOPPED. This is a great sign.
• WAIT, SHE’S GRETCHEN WEINER FROM MEAN GIRLS (aka the lovely Lacey Chabert)!! I knew I recognised her.
• And she runs a diner called Kathy’s Kafe. With a K.
• Okay, in this snowman sculpting competition there are all these normal-looking snowman and then the hot snowman. Is NO ONE asking who sculpted the hot snowman?? I mean, THAT ASS. WHY IS NO ONE ASKING?? I hope we find out.
• ‘Good things come to you when you’re out in the cold, Kathy.’ Yeah, like hot snowman.
• REALLY, WHO SCULPTED THAT ADONIS BETWEEN THE TWO SNOWMEN AND WHY DOES HE HAVE NIPPLES? WHO GAVE THIS LUSCIOUS SNOWMAN NIPPLES??
• Oh. Oh, he’s real. Oh, he turned real with very bad movie magic. Oh boy.
• That scarf … does not obey the laws of physics but my eyes certainly do.
• WHY THE SNEEZE? THE SEXY STAND-UP? THE TRAP MIX OF THE NUTCRACKER SUITE IN THE BACKGROUND?? I’M DYING.
• God, if only I had hair days half as good as Naked Frosty.
• Oh my god, the old woman is me. I am the old woman.

Naked Frosty: Hello!

Old Man: (screams and falls over) WHAT’S THAT?!

Old Woman: (squints after naked man running away) I’m not sure … but let’s go investigate.

• Of course he steals a jumper with Jack on the nametag.
• ‘I love talking!’ Me too, Jack.
• Will we ever figure out who sculpted THAT ASS?
• But also the sculpture really looks nothing like him. This is a classic example of ‘men are always hotter in your head’.
• The sheriff having a carousel of sunglasses is … so achingly real.
• Queen of Aldovia reference!!
• It’s refreshing to see the naive character trope inverted for once!  (TV Tropes calls this character “The Ingenue”—a virginal character innocent to the world, who is immune to sexual innuendos and, probably, taxes. Which Hot Frosty absolutely runs with.)
• The veins in his arms are paid actors.
• OH MY GOD, A MEAN GIRLS REFERENCE?? THIS MOVIE IS GIVING US MORE EASTER EGGS THAN MARVEL.
• Joe Lo Truglio from Brooklyn 99 is just having a good time in this movie, and I support him.
• Kathy is the only sane person in this town, I swear. NOW ASK THE REAL QUESTION—WHO SCULPTED THAT ASS??
• ‘It’s a fantastic nog.’ Heh, that’s what she said.
• He’s making her dinner?? Boy, I’m sure glad the heater in her house isn’t working because, DAMN, that’s hot.
• In a world where there are magical snowmen, there is still no cure for cancer. That is, in fact, tragic.
• I, too, enjoy cold pizza, Jack.
• The old woman driving by and then backing up to get a look at Hot Frosty shirtless is everyone watching this movie—OH MY GOD AND NOW HE’S TRYING TO—OH. Oh. That—he can’t—that car. That car doesn’t. It won’t. Uh … well, that old woman definitely got her oil changed, if you get my drift.
• Jack is really CRONCHING that ice, isn’t he.
• Ah, we finally found the chemistry. It was here somewhere! We just had to let it warm up a little … though I am actually getting concerned about him melting.
• Jokes aside, I do appreciate the acknowledgement of her grief. It’s brief, but I’m glad they did!
• Okay, I am not concerned any more about him melting; his makeup gets better the more he melts.
• Sheriff’s office being half green-screen is how you know this is a budget holiday movie. Never change.
• So … is the person who made the Frosty sculpture is NOT CONCERNED THAT IT IS GONE?
• ‘I just want to stand tall with you for one night.’ Lolsob, Julie and the Phantoms, another Netflix darling canceled too soon. You will live in my heart forever.
• Not her paying for his gifts to her.
• AW, CUTE DANCE MOMENT!
• If he is melting when she gets close … is he just perpetually sweaty?
• OH NO, THERE IS A LINE DANCE.
• I can’t. He’s sweating so much. Why is he so damp.
• WHY DID HE NOT KISS HER??? KISS HER. KISSSS HERRRRRR.
• The sheriff is … nuts.
• Oh no, is he gonna sweat—I mean melt—in a green-screen jail cell???
• I can’t believe it, smh—getting arrested for streaking on Christmas Eve. Frosty, how scandalous.
• The town just believing he’s a snowman tells me that everyone in this town has had a hot frosty in a scarf sleep in their guest bed for an unspecified number of nights.
• Wow, Hope Springs really … decided to spring Hot Frosty out of jail by donating toward his bail fund, huh?
• And now this movie just reminds me that in the US, a sheriff is an elected position, while a police chief is a position elected by the mayor of the town. The more you know, I guess.
• Question: how are we gonna see Hot Frosty half-naked in the summer if he melts?
• MOIST KISS.
• Aw, true love makes him real! He’s not sweaty and gross—I mean melting—any more!! (In other words, me after five minutes in front of the a/c in the summer.) So awkward that it happened in front of the whole town though.
• WHY IS NO ONE ASKING WHO SCULPTED THE SNOWMAN SCULTURE???? IT WAS A COMPETITION!!! THAT PERSON WOULD HAVE WON IF THE SNOWMAN HADN’T LITERALLY WALKED OFF!
• THAT PERSON WAS CHEATED OUT OF A TROPHY! PROBABLY A GIFT CARD TOO! AND BRAGGING RIGHTS!
• JUSTICE FOR UNNAMED HORNY SNOWMAN SCULPTURER!
• Okay but how can Hot Frosty—I mean Jack—fly without an ID? Am I thinking too hard on this? I’m probably thinking too hard on this. It probably just materialised beside him with his birth certificate in the snow when he became real.
• That was cute!! I’m glad she finally fixed her heater, at least!!
• Bloopers absolutely worth sitting through the credits for too.

Overall, that was a pretty fun holiday romp. It never takes itself too seriously, and you can drive a truck through some of those plot holes, but it’s a fun thing to have on in the background while you’re baking your holiday cookies. I’d stick Hot Frosty right in the middle of that Holiday Movie Tree, just out of reach of the cats but not curious toddlers.

Have you seen Hot Frosty? What do you think?

---

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ashley Poston

Ashley Poston writes stories about love and friendship and ever afters. A native to South Carolina, she now lives in a small grey house with her sassy cat and too many books. You can find her on the internet, somewhere, watching cat videos and reading fan-fiction.

Don’t miss Ashley’s latest rom-com with a magical twist, A Novel Love Story

Have you ever found yourself lost in a good book … literally?
Eileen Merriweather loves a good love story. The fictional kind, anyway. After all, imaginary men don’t break your heart.

That’s why she’s so excited for her annual book club retreat – instead, when her car breaks down en route, Eileen finds herself in Eloraton. A town where every meet is cute, the rain always comes in the afternoon, and the bookshop is always curated with impeccable taste.

It feels too good to be true … because Eloraton is the setting of her favourite romance series. And Eileen is sure she must be here to bring the town its storybook ending.

But there’s one character she can’t place. The grumpy bookshop owner with mint-green eyes, and an irritatingly sexy mouth. He does not want Eileen to finish this story, but how else can she find her happily-ever-after?

The next magical rom-com from the New York Times bestselling author of The Seven Year Slip and The Dead Romantics!

Get the book here