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Our 23 favourite Disney villains…

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Our 23 favourite Disney villains…

We recently wrote an article ranking our 21 favourite Disney men and had so much fun we thought we’d do it again…but with the villains!

From misunderstood marshmallows to downright nasty, every Disney villain is iconic in their own way. So, three of our writers here at Romance.com.au, Courtney, Saskia and Eloise, got together again to rank their Top 23 Disney Villains, based on highly objective and scientific criteria (hah, who are we kidding).

Read on, and enjoy!

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23. Governor Ratcliffe – Pocahontas

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Saskia: Racist bigot, no thanks.

-100/10

Eloise: Hard pass from me too. Also 18th century curly wigs are SOOOOOO passé.

0/10

Courtney: Would only tolerate to steal his pug.

2/10

Combined score: -98

 

22. Shan Yu – Mulan

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Saskia: If you touch my precious Li Shang I will show you all the force of my great typhoon of RAGE.

0/10

Eloise: Nope! He hurt the little girl with the doll. NO POINTS FOR YOU.

0/10

Courtney: Suuuuuuper scary. Very good villain, even more so because he was undoubtedly inspired by Attila the Hun. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to have any soft spot to speak of, so defs would not cuddle.

1/10

Combined score: 1

 

21. Judge Frollo – The Hunchback of Notre Dame

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Saskia: Even if he wasn’t a wiener, look at those eyes. Them be crazy eyes.

2/10

Eloise: Hahahahahaha NOPE. Half a point for the fun hat.

0.5/10

Courtney: Creepy, horrible little pervert!

0/10

Combined score 2.5

 

20. Clayton – Tarzan

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Saskia: He is a disgusting animal killer and I hope he gets some kind of mosquito borne jungle disease on his nether regions.
0/10

Eloise: We do NOT stan a poacher. Even a really buff poacher who actually kinda makes khaki look good…

2/10

Courtney: Worst kind of human. I wish Tarzan and he went head to head, and Clayton ended up with his head inside of a tree.

1/10

Combined score: 3

 

19. Prince John – Robin Hood

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Saskia: Remember when I said I didn’t have a lion thing? This! This is proof! Prince John is a money hoarding crybaby and I detest him. I do feel a little bit bad that his crown doesn’t fit on his head though – I also have a tiny head, and us small-browed folk must stick together.

3/10

Eloise: While I feel sorry that he’s had to grow up in the shadow of his (super-hot tbh) heroic older brother, his petulance and totalitarianism is NOT COOL.

Also this article compared him to Donald Trump, and tbh he lost more points after reading it.

2/10

Courtney: [Please see answer to Shere Khan….]

Y’all need help/10

Combined score: 5

 

18. Gaston – Beauty & the Beast

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Saskia: Hear me out – Gaston is a grade A douche, and I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole, but he’s still better than the beast. Tbh Belle should have dropped them both and gone on solo to open a school for wayward children so she can teach them not to turn out like either of her pedestrian love interests.

3/10

Eloise: Eugh no thanks. A chauvinistic beefcake. Hard pass. Would also suggest Belle not pick any of the trash men in the film, and become a famous and wealthy inventor/headmistress/feminist scholar/literary critic, I’d watch that movie.

3/10

Courtney: Look, if I could make Gaston stfu and worship me a little, I would be 100% into it. But that arrogant attitude just isn’t gonna fly with me, unfortunately.

3/10

Combined score: 9

 

17. Captain Hook – Peter Pan

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Saskia: Look, I don’t hate the guy, but I just couldn’t deal with the repetitive ticking. Would push him off the boat after about five minutes.

4/10

Eloise: A solid meh. Would 100% adopt Mr Smee though.

3/10

Courtney: There’s no way he just wakes up with hair like that. I estimate approximately 90 minutes and at least 3 crew members helping to style it each morning. Pretty pathetic villain tbh.

4/10

Combined score: 11

 

16. Jafar – Aladdin

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Saskia: He’s a sneaky, psychopathic bugger for sure, but I like his squiggly beard and his nasty parrot (have never met a parrot that wasn’t nasty, so this is very on brand).

6/10

Eloise: I get it, the workplace can be very draining, and it’s tempting to think about gaining ultimate power through genie magic, becoming a god and overthrowing your boss. Also, tbh, I dig a guy who can pull off both excessive shoulder pads and a cape. Negative points for creepy lecherous and sexist behaviour toward Jasmine though #notcooljafar

6/10

P.S.A shout out to HOT Jafar from the live-action remake. He can hypnotise me with his smouldering brown eyes any time…

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Courtney: This guy is pure predator, and it makes my skin crawl. Also, his face is very reminiscent of a camel…

1/10

Combined score: 13

 

15. Queen of Hearts – Alice in Wonderland

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Saskia: Even if you hate her, you can’t say she doesn’t have a flair for décor. And points for consistency – you know she’s gonna behead you, and I like a woman who’s straightforward.

Look yes, the Queen Of Hearts is entirely bonkers, but as Alice explains, ‘all the best people are!

7/10

Eloise: I like a gal with a strong sense for coherent interior design aesthetic, and you know that if Queenie was a millennial her Insta game would be STRONG. Also, flamingo croquet (while perhaps disputed by the Wonderland version of PETA) looks like a REALLY fun game to play tbh.

6/10

Courtney: Look, if you’re going to be queen, fine. But at least dress the part?! She always looks like a long distance truck driver draped in her grandma’s quilt. Hire. A. Professional. Stylist.

3/10

Combined score: 16

 

14. Cruella De Vil – 101 Dalmatians

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Saskia: Her aesthetic is STRONG, but if she touches my dog I will maim her.

4/10

Eloise: So damn chic with her slinky black dress, giant yellow coat and cigarillo. Style game 10/10 … desire to murder baby animals to achieve style game, not so great. Extra points for the terror she instilled in me as a child during that driving scene.

6/10

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Courtney: A perfectly example of what living in the high fashion world does to a person. It makes you cray. Puppies: attack!

6/10

Combined score: 16

 

13. Hans – Frozen

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Saskia: Hans is my favourite kind of villain – a manipulative fiend, but padded with a sad cinnamon roll backstory.

10/10 would scheme with him.

Eloise: Eugh, no thank you! You know Hans is the WORST kind of softboi; he seduces you with his sensitivity, puppy dog eyes and love of sandwiches, makes you fall in love with him, then takes over your kingdom and tries to kill your sister. He’d definitely send you ‘U Up?’ texts at 3am then totally not answer your DMs the next day. He is cute though…

5/10

Courtney: Slimiest slime ball of all time. Surprised that he didn’t try to sleep with Ana because he ‘loved her’ and then try to kill her and take her kingdom.

1/10

Combined score: 16

 

12.Captain Gantu – Lilo and Stitch

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Saskia: I have no hate for Captain Gantu (he was just doing his job, albeit a bit too enthusiastically), but I adore Stich, so points off for trying to capture my sweet lil blue baby.

7/10

Eloise: Wikipedia says of Gantu; ‘Gantu lacks any notable abilities’. RUDE. He’s a badass fighting machine and a hard worker just doing his job; he didn’t know he was on the wrong side.

6/10

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☝️Gantu @ Hamsterevil☝️

Courtney: Anybody else think he looks like that creature from Star Wars: Episode II?

5/10

Combined score:18

 

11. Shere Khan – Jungle Book

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Saskia: Pretty sure just about every domestic cat I’ve met has the same personality as Shere Khan (i.e. would maim you and then look disgusted that your bloody corpse has dirtied the carpet). And yet still I crave the love of my fluffy feline friends. Shere Khan also harbours a burning hatred for mankind which I too feel on a regular basis. Who’s a good kitty? Shere Khan is!

9/10

Eloise: Is it wrong to be sexually attracted to the voice of a cartoon tiger? Let’s not dwell on that thought for too long….

9/10

Courtney: ENOUGH OF THE ANIMATED BIG CATS

0/10

Combined score: 18

 

10. Dr Facilier – The Princess and the Frog

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Saskia: I have not seen The Princess And The Frog (a travesty, I know), but I like a man in a top hat. I am assuming he turned that snack of a boy into a frog though, so points off for that.

6/10

Eloise: Pure evil, a smooth talker and wholly charming. He’s pure evil, but he has such style…

7/10

Courtney: I’m always keen on a stylish villain, but that skull and crossbones top hat just ain’t subtle.

5/10

Combined score:18

 

9. Mother Gothel – Tangled

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Saskia: Utterly terrifying, I do not want to be trapped in a tower with her like, ever. Not sure why she was so obsessed with Rapunzel’s hair though – her curls are the bomb.

5/10

Eloise: She’s vain, narcissistic, manipulative and a total gaslighter…but I kinda love her. The fact that her villainous goal is just to stay beautiful is really just an indictment on impossible societal standards of beauty for women. Also her aesthetic is 💯

7/10

Courtney: PTSD triggering for every girl that has felt emotionally abused by her mother! Though I can relate to wanting to stay forever young… Just not sure extortion is the way to get it.

7/10

Combined score: 19

 

8. The Evil Queen (Queen Grimhilde) – Snow White

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Saskia: Even I can admit she’s straight-up evil, but girl can bust a rhyme.

7/10

Eloise: Pure evil, but well goal-oriented.

6/10

Courtney: She’s the OG evil queen, how could I not love her? She is the evil queen that all villains aspire to be. Solid motive for her dastardly deeds. I respect a gal who knows what she wants!

8/10

Combined score: 21

 

7. Lady Tremaine – Cinderella

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Saskia: Pretty sure Cinderella’s wicked step-mum was the scariest villain out when I was six and watching Disney films on repeat. I am still mildly terrified of her impeccable eyeshadow placement and wouldn’t dare to rate her any lower.

8/10

Eloise: She’s awful…but I do love her immaculately plucked eyebrows and dramatically streaked updo. Extra points for excessive villainy while stroking a cat (very on-brand).

8/10

Courtney: As a child, I always related to Cinderella. As an adult, I have realised I am actually Lady Tremaine, skulking in the shadows and judging innocent people with my cat. C’est la vie.

7/10

Combined score: 23

 

6. Ursula – The Little Mermaid

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Saskia: Again, misunderstood. Ursula is just a many-tentacled lady who’s fallen victim to a (mer)man who thought he could tell her what to do. Then, instead of bemoaning her situation she went out hustlin’ and started up a business – and when her customers defaulted on their loans, she’s the one getting called evil?

9/10

Eloise: Oh, she’s rotten to the core, but isn’t she just so much fun?! Style ✔️ Sass ✔️ Clever ✔️ Bombass musical number ✔️ She’s got good game, and tbh wouldn’t you want to be friends with her just for ALL the gossip she must have?!

8/10

Courtney: Yeah, sure she has suffered some heartache and she’s a boss business lady… but she’s also evil AF and I always loathe the ‘other woman’ in a romance. Gtfo and find your own prince, thanks.

6/10

Combined score: 23

 

5. Hades – Hercules

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Saskia: Hades got the short end of the stick from his d-bag brother Zeus, so no wonder he is full of fiery rage. Also points for his funky hair.

7/10

Eloise: Again, sometimes you get the short end of the workplace stick and I totally get his simmering rage toward Zeus (brothers can be the WORST). Wouldn’t Hades would be the best person to get cocktails and judge people with?! He’d know ALL the best gossip and he’d definitely be down for some trash talking. I also love a bold hair choice.

9/10

Courtney: Literally all I want from a man is sarcasm and power. Hades has both in spades. Sign me up.

8.5/10

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Combined score: 24.5

 

4. Scar – The Lion King

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Saskia: Ok I feel like everyone is going to think I have a thing for lions but I swear it’s only the hot ones. I know he’s a cold hard killer but I love a pessimistic emo boi so I can forgive his sins.

9/10

Eloise: Jeremy Irons’s voice in a bad-boy lion body, complete with slinky black hair (cause he’s evil, duh!) and a scar (literal but I love it).  My (slightly weird, I’ll admit it) attraction to cartoon animals is well documented, and Scar is one of the top villains on my list.

9/10

Courtney: You evil, two-faced, back-stabbing lion. Again, I am not as into the feline sexuality as Eloise and Saskia, but I can appreciate a good villain.

7/10

Combined score: 25

 

3. Maleficent – Sleeping Beauty

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Saskia: She’s a misunderstood, boss babe and more power to her. All that other chick did was sleep all day waiting for boys to kiss her – like seriously, get a job.

10/10

Eloise: I understand, it is totally aggravating when EVERYONE is invited to a party EXCEPT you! I totally get her wrath. Plus, she’s got the villainous sass and style down pat! Extra points for raven accessory and PURE drama with which she said: ‘well here’s your precious princess!’. I.C.O.N.I.C.

9/10

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Courtney: My absolute queen of the world. Maleficent could ruin my life and I would be

G R A T E F U L. She’s beauty, she’s grace, SHE’LL TURN INTO A DRAGON AND BURN YOUR ACTUAL FACE.

10/10

Combined score: 29

 

2. Yzma – The Emperor’s New Groove

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Saskia: Yzma is tragic at schemes but I feel like she would be a riot to hang out with on TGI-Fridays over a cocktail or seven. Kronk is also welcome at this girl’s night – I swear it’s not just for ogling, I really like spinach puffs.

10/10

Eloise: Can I please come along to this girls’ night too? Yzma, while certainly not the smartest (or most villainous) on this list would certainly be the life of every party. Also, her style game is off the charts; while everyone else is giving a little Black Milk ‘villainy after dark’ she’s full Met Gala chic. Can I suggest we hold this girl’s night in her secret laboratory, if for nothing else than to hear her iconic line ‘Pull the lever Kronk!’. We stan a QUEEN.

9.5/10

P.S. Kronk, as always, 10/10

Courtney: She’s not the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time), but she’s the LLAMA (Legit Legendary Amazing Majestic Angel). Also I am so keen for this girl’s night – with Kronk and spinach puffs, plus a side of biceps.

10/10

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Combined score: 29.5

 

1.Oogie Boogie – Nightmare Before Christmas

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Saskia: Straight up the most terrifying villain on this list.

100/10 for fear he will eat me.

Eloise: Basically, a maggot-infested hessian sack, albeit a very scary one.

6/10

Courtney: Nightmare Before Christmas… more like Nightmare Before EVERY DAY because my god that face is chill-inducing.

9/10

Combined score: 115

 

 

So, how’d we go? Did you agree with our list? Let us know in the comments below…

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