Brothers of the Vine
Forever Evermore
Women of W.A.R.
A new show called The Masked Singer has graced our televisions and with it brings our beloved naughties dream queen, Lindsay Lohan, back into the spotlight. For some reason. I haven’t fully grasped the connection but regardless, let’s travel back in time to where Lindsay got her start! But where did she get her start?!
And now for our superstar guessing panel. First up actor/singer/celebrity extraordinaire, the divine @lindsaylohan! #MaskedSingerAU pic.twitter.com/qNkvDRVt89
— The Masked Singer Australia (@maskedsinger_au) September 23, 2019
Calling Paris Hilton the C-word. Movies. Let’s rank them.
10. Herbie Fully Loaded
Sarana: I do hand it to Lindsay she does pick movies that have her characters doing interesting jobs. Racing Car driver is just one of the many. Herbie is a classic and you can’t really go too wrong.
5/10
Hillary: There are so many big names in this film. Lindsay Lohan, Michael Keaton, Justin Long, Matt Dillon, and Cheryl Hines, to name a few. And it’s just an oversaturated movie about a CGI car.
0/10
Combined Score: 5/20
9. Labor Pains
Sarana: I believe this one may have gone straight to DVD. Is anyone surprised. Lindsay’s character fakes a pregnancy so she doesn’t lose her job, what could go wrong with that plan???
4/10
Hillary: This is the worst movie because of the flaw in logic. You can make more money from being pregnant than being a publisher’s secretary. Also, publishers don’t have secretaries.
3/10
Combined Score: 7/20
8. Just my Luck
Sarana: One kiss switched their luck!! This ventures into rom-com territory with the introduction of a very nerdy Chris Hemsworth or is it Chris Pratt or Chris Evans??? None of the above. It’s Chris Pine. They all blend into one. Lindsay is actually quite good at comedy, if I got my hair stuck in a hair dryer and dropped a whole shelf of bowling balls I would NOT see the funny side.
7/10
Hillary: Best part of this film is a young Chris Pine.
5/10
Combined Score: 12/20
7. Georgia Rule
Sarana: Let me be honest, when I saw that Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman were in this movie, it made curious to see how Lindsay would fit. I’m really shocked to say, that I enjoyed this one as much as Mean Girls. There is none of that trademark comedy that we are used to seeing and I think that if this movie had come out after #metoo, that it would have received a lot more notice. Without ruining it for anyone, I think this could possibly be the closest to the real Lindsay Lohan I’ve seen in all of the movies I’ve watched and sadly it’s that deeply flawed character depiction that makes this my favourite Lindsay Lohan movie.
9.5/10
Hillary: This was at the height of Lindsay’s addiction and spray tans, so I imagine she also has this movie low on her list as well.
4/10
Combined Score: 13.5/20
6. Get a Clue
Sarana: This one is pretty funny. Once again Lindsay’s outfits just continue to surprise – at one point there was a matrix style jacket with high heels! That is EXACTLY what most people wear on a sting operation to blend in (lel). It continues to amaze me that teenagers managed to solve a mystery that not even the FBI could solve, and all with totally illegal dodgy amateur spy equipment. So classy.
7/10
Hillary: I remember watching this and wanting a Walkie Talkie wristwatch so badly. This movie is the Disney Channel Legally Blonde of teenage spy movies, in which the fashion expert utilises her skills to deduce some grade A hogwash by knowing a New York City detective would never be able to afford alligator boots. And I’ve always identified with this.
7/10
Combined Score: 14/20
5. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Sarana: Lindsay’s outfits get that extra half a point. If I had turned up in my first week at a new school in an ABBA jumpsuit complete with headband I’m not sure I would have lasted all that long. This movie came out the same year as Mean Girls so it definitely has those same vibes. Megan Fox plays a mean girl a little too well, then she falls into a fountain. The end..
7.5/10
Hillary: I still have the theme song to this movie, “That Girl,” in my jogging playlist. I saw this movie in theatres with my bowling partner on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of winter, then went home to download that song immediately after. Lola’s conviction to her dreams was actually really inspiring to a young girl such as myself. And the hairstyles in this movie were perfect.
8/10
Combined Score: 15.5/20
4. Parent Trap
Sarana: Long before Chateau Marmont Lindsay was a cute little kid. This is one of my favourite movies when she was a kid. I mean throw in some twins both played by Lindsay – with suspiciously different hair styles (wigs) and some fake British accents and you have a recipe for a Disney hit.
8/10
Hillary: Lindsay Lohan’s very first film, this iconic 90’s movie made me believe in L-O-V-E. Another remake on this list, I especially liked how Hallie sings a few lines of the song “Let’s Get Together” that was performed by the original twins in the 1961 film. Unfortunately, it has come to pass that I identify with evil step-mother Meredith more than most of the characters in this film, but god it was a great film.
9/10
Combined Score: 17/20
3. Freaky Friday
Sarana: A classic is remade and I like this version the best. Watching Lindsay pretend to be Jami Lee Curtis is hilarious, I mean it must have been torture for her to put on a sensible shirt and skirt for the whole movie.
8.5/10
Hillary: This is a remake of the earlier 1976 film which is a format that Lindsay Lohan was already familiar with. They gave it a punk edge and included high-flying stars like Jamie Lee Curtis and Chad Michael Murray (drool~) but nothing will replace Jodie Foster.
7.5/10
Combined Score: 17/20
2. Mean Girls
Sarana: Some will disagree but this movie was probably Lindsay’s best in my opinion and just the start of Rachel McAdams’s rise to the top. It just the right balance of laugh out loud and cringeworthy moments and with Tina Fey having written the screenplay, the rest is history. Tina went on to win an Emmy, Rachel went on to win and Oscar, and Lindsay. . . well she ended up in Australia trying to pick celebrities she doesn’t even know in masks, and doing so well at it. . .
9/10
Hillary: I first watched this film in Sunday school and I’ve been repeating lines ever since. An iconic film of my generation, Mean Girls is based on a book called Queen Bees and Wannabes. It displays just how girls can be absolutely terrible to each other and how ridiculous it can be. This is probably Lindsay’s most profitable movie and will probably be what she’s known for years down the line. This film really helped me understand and hone by catty side, and I’ll be forever grateful.
9/10
Combined Score: 18/20
1..Life Size
Sarana : There is quite a bit to unpack in this movie. First let’s talk about how easy it was to get a black magic spell book just down at your local bookstore – last child who stole a mysterious book from the local bookstore in a movie ended up riding a dragon called Falcor, but I digress. . . we move on to a very convenient spell to bring something to life, that is in very easy to read English and only requiring a candle, altar and hair brush to perform. Of course the right person isn’t brought back and Tyra Banks formerly known as a plastic doll appears instead!! She proceeds to do a great impersonation of a plastic doll which includes a very bizarre singing moment. Lindsay spends most of the movie scowling and frowning and throwing a gridiron !! but in true Disney style, everything works out for the best and nobody mentions that she still has the Book of the Dead stuffed in a closet somewhere – shame there was never a sequel though.
7/10
Hillary: Number one Lindsay Lohan movie on my list. It has EVERYTHING. Tyra Banks, a sarcastic female football player played by Lohan, a fumbling idiot to fall in love with, Barbies, a song about believing in yourself? I haven’t watched this film in 20 years and I still whisper “Shine bright, shine far” to myself before interviews. I would fight you over this, but I have to go be a Doctor/Supermodel/Chef/Race car Driver/Vet/Mother/Astronaut/Sales Person/Olympic Gold Medallist now.
11/10
Combined Score: 18/20
** Mood **